I literally have been sitting here for the last like hour trying to think of what to write.
I usually blog when i get inspired by something or I'm hurt or missing someone or just had a great week or mad or whatever.
It's like my online diary that I don't write in everyday.
But last week was sorta rough in a way I can't even understand myself,
It's like I want to write about how I feel but don't know how to begin to describe it.
I'm not sure if it's because of Syd's passing,
or the fact that it's been 7 months since the last time I saw my best friend,
or because that one person I could turn to for everything is not in my life anymore.
I got home from church today and had a text, when I saw who it was from I was disappointed,
and it's not like I'm waiting for a specific person to call or text me, It's not like it's some guy I want to talk to or anything. It's a weird feeling, but If I had to chose a word to describe it I guess I would say I feel empty.
And maybe I'll understand one day why I feel the way I do, but that's not today.

"So this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."