Fake it till you make it.

These past few days I've been sorta in and out. Like im there, but im not. I can't decide whether im tired, sad, or mad. And in a way I feel numb. There are so many things running through my head.
And it's like lately I've been faking my happiness a lot,
like maybe if I fake it long enough I'll start to believe that I really am happy.

"It's much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave. And life doesn't stop for anybody. I wanted to laugh. Or maybe get mad. Or just shrug my shoulders at how strange everybody was, especially me. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life, and then make the choice to share it with other people. You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can't. You have to do things. I'm going to do what I want to do. I'm going to be who I really am. And I'm going to figure out what that is. And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or what they didn't do or what they didn't know. I don't know, I guess there could always be someone to blame. It's just different. Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. 

Because it's okay to feel things."