I feel a bit like Alice falling down the rabbit hole.

The other day I was babysitting and we watched Alice In Wonderland.

Everyone knows the part where she follows the rabbit into the rabbit hole but it made realize how strangely the scene related to my life.

At first Alice goes into the rabbit hole and she struggles a little, it's dark she has no idea where she is going and falls,

Once she's falling she starts to slow down, 

Then she see's a little switch that turns on a light,

she starts to discover things at one point she see's herself in a mirror upside down,

she has a few moments when she's falling that she falls quick and unexpectedly,

once she's done falling she then again follows the rabbit into a room with one door and has no idea where that door is gonna lead her to.

That's exactly the point I am at in my life.

My dark point was the end of last year when I lost two really important people to me in life, I was struggling it was dark and I hit rock bottom.

My slow down scene was my numbing phase I stopped caring about everything and everyone in my life.

I really didn't care, Sometimes I didn't feel like living. Not to the point where I wanted to commit suicide or anything like that, just to the point where I wanted to stop and go away, be calm and happy.

And that little light switch I found was a friend I made towards the end of last year and we became really close, like who would have thought we would have become friends?! And I don't  even think that person knows how much of an effect they had and helped me out. Better yet I haven't told them.

I started to discover new things, made new friends I started to discover myself. Which is really cliche but really. 

My reflection was the drastic change I had made in life since then.

And those quick drops are the little things that get to me every once in a while, because after a while they do and there is nothing anyone can say or do to make you feel better but you have to keep going.

And right now I have no idea where the next chapter, or "door" in my life is gonna take me. I got rid of a few people and talked to a few old ones, and now im just gonna let it lead me to wherever this road takes me, because im curious and,

"Curiosity often leads to trouble."-Alice

You're entitled to your own opinion, sit and shake your head at my decisions.

Hello fellow blog stalkers,
It's been a while so I have a lot to say and a lot has been going on. 
Life's been pretty grand so far but lately I've just learned a lot about myself and a lot about others.
When you think of "Best friend" what do you think?
A few that come to my mind are..
-Someone you trust.
-Someone who will always be there for you
-Someone who's a homie and has your back.
-Someone who doesn't judge you
The most important thing for me is someone who will stick around by your side, no matter what.
and in all honesty I've had a lot of best friend but there's only one person who i can clearly say they are my best friend without a doubt, yeah we may get bugged with each other but when it comes down to it that person has been there for me no matter what.
I've trusted to many people with lot of things and at one point we just stop being friends or they just go ahead and use it against me. 
It's sad how a few people were once a huge part of my life and no they are just gone.
It's sad how much I've come to realize how many fake friends I have, if you don't want to be a part of my life then go ahead and walk right out.
I could honestly care less if someone doesn't like me.
Go ahead take the time out of your day to talk bad behind my back or even to my face. 
Doesn't phase me at all.

to all my "friends"