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Friday, February 1, 2013

Not worth the struggle, the hurt, or the trouble.

He broke up with you right? 
After telling you he loved you and calling you names like baby and cutie? 
Yeah. 
I know he lavished you in compliments,
only to put himself down so you would stroke his fakely ego.
Did he tell you that you were beautiful? 
I bet he promised you a personalized song. 
Or maybe he'd always mention how he was lying in bed and wished you were there.
He dragged "I love you" out, didn't he?
Yeah, don't deny it.
He would talk to you last thing at night and first thing in the morning.
He constantly mentioned losing sleep over you, 
every night,
but we both know he slept like a rock. 
He made you love pictures that were just sort of "blah" before. 
Did you delete those pictures after he broke your heart? 
Yeah, me too. 
All of your friends hate him now, don't they? 
Remember how happy they were for you? 
They warned you. 
Just remember, 
it's okay to cry. 
And referring to him as "asshole" is perfectly expected. 
Because, trust me, 
you'll end up talking about him just as often, 
if not more, 
than before.
There will be the "one time"s and "I remember"s, 
and once you think you're over him, 
watch out. 
You better keep your eyes closed in the hallways, 
because I promise you, 
the next time you see him, 
he'll be all over some other girl. 
A little part of you will want to kill her, 
but nobody will blame you for hating her. 
Because aside from the heart-breaker thing, 
he was perfect. 
He was everything you wanted. 
Or maybe you made that up. 
Maybe, the second he started to show interest you made up this perfect guy in your head, 
and it just happened to be him. 
Listen, you will find the perfect guy for you, 
just like everybody says you will, 
and it will be soon. 
Okay, so I didn't believe it either, 
but I'm starting to. 
The most important thing though is don't let him know he hurt you. 
Don't let him know he could have you back in a heartbeat. 
Don't give him the satisfaction. 
Make him think you're completely happy. 
And when he decides to wave at you, 
like nothing ever happened, 
wave back, sure. 
But don't smile. 
Make him think he means as little to you, 
as you obviously meant to him.

1 comment:

asdf said...

oh girl it gets so much better. Junior year the same thing happened to me. The Student Body President was my dance partner for a dance in Orchesis, and for some reason he wanted ME. So I let him lie to me for 5 months. I let him completely control my life, emotions, body, just... everything. Then I found out he was cheating on me with the Dance Company President, another girl on my dance team, and a girl from his drama class. I was SO bitter for SO long. But eventually a good guy did come around and I'm madly in love with him. Don't settle for jerks. I promise good guys exist and it's not worth it to kiss a lot of toads.

(this is the bitter post)
http://leannade.blogspot.com/2010/06/salt-in-cookies.html

(this is a post about the man I've been madly in love with for 3 years)
http://leannade.blogspot.com/2010/10/girl-and-boy.html