Awkward.

The other day I realized I'm not as fun or social as I use to be.
I use to be really outgoing and go to parties and talk to a lot of people.
Then these past few days I was like uhhh what's wrong with me?
I have no idea how to flirt with boys the other day I went on a date with this really hot guy who for some reason chose to take ME on a date.
ME, I was in shock.
But anyways.
It was way fun, super chill,
end of the night he leaned in to kiss me. Yupppp I was so awkward. Just turned my head Then walked right into my humble abode.
It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss him but at the same time I felt like I was cheating on my boyfriend.
Oh yeah i don't have one. Just trying to get over the last one. And some people i talk to it about are like "oh you need a rebound or you'll never get over him!"
NO.
I don't want a rebound i don't want to be like every other girl who has to go make out with like 5 guys to get over someone, cause I've done that before.
All you do is try to convince and lie to yourself that you are over that person when everyone knows your really not and it just makes it worse. I hate myself for ever liking someone so much. Where are all the guys you can just chill with? you know cuddle, watch a movie, maybe fall asleep without having to hook up with them by the end of the night? Or just go get some hot chocolate and drive up to the canyon and watch the sunset and talk about life with? Anyone out there like that nowadays?
I'll be holding out for a hero till then.
Xoxo
-Karla