It's funny how you go through the year and nothing seems to change but when you look back, everything is different. 

It's amazing that no matter how much we tell ourselves that we won't change for anyone, we always seem to. 

And no matter how much we say we won't care what they think about us, it's the number one thing on our minds. 

If you look at how I used to be and you look at me now, you'll realize I'm not the same girl I once was.

Everything got to me. 

The lines are so crossed and blurred at this point that I don't know what I want. I just know I want it to be easy... And sometimes it's easier for me to pretend rather than face my feelings. Sometimes it's easier to try to make it alone rather than risk getting hurt again. Sometimes it's easier to be numb towards certain people so I don't let them get too close. Sometimes I'm scared, but when I act numb towards you, it doesn't mean I don't care it means I care too much.

I heard them say

"I miss the old, happy, girl. That would smile all the time and laugh at everything"

When it finally hit me,

That's just not me anymore.

this is what happens when you fall in love. 

you're looking at a natural disaster.

All my friends told me;

“You can do better. You deserve so much more.” 

In reality, they were right. 

But sometimes when you love, you love the person for who they are despite what they have done wrong to you. 

That’s what love does to you. 

It’s not about who you deserve, 

it’s about who you want, 

who you need, and who you love.

I waited for you for so long. 

I watched my phone, every night, waiting on a phone call that somewhere in the back of my mind I knew I’d never get. 

I just wanted to hear you say that you were sorry for hurting me, and that maybe you wanted to get back together. 

I thought you missed me too, you just didn’t know what you wanted. 

But, I finally realized that you didn’t miss me at all, 

that I was definitely not what you wanted, and that i never meant that much to you anyway.  

"I've discovered as i've grown up that

life is far more complicated than you 

think when you're a kid. It isn't just a

straight-forward fairy tale."