This past week has been so fun and i felt like i was finally moving on from you,
but at the same time everywhere i go there's a reminder of you,
i can't drive by half of this town and not think of a memory we had there
and i always wonder if you still ever think or let alone care about me,
because i think about you everyday
and i wish i didn't have to.
I wish i could just shut off all our memories
and never bring you up in a conversation,
but it's hard because you were once part of me.
It's a not so Love Story.
I'm still stuck on that phase where I am mad at myself not you
im left with confusion because those last few days were great
i feel dumb founded and disappointed,
in me.
there are some questions eating me up in side
like why you left,
when did your feelings change,
when did you stop caring
and why couldn't we stay friends like you promised..
"You can always tell how much you love someone by how much they hurt you"
you hurt me to the point where I will never forgive you for putting me through so much,
alone.
not to where we won't be friends,
just to where that trust will never be there again..
They say time heals all wounds.. that's true.
Slowly, but surely the pain lessens and lessens..
but then you hear a name, song or voice.
And it's like that hole in your heart gets ripped open all over again.
I question every word you once said because i feel like you just walked away,
and i can't that easy.
And maybe you know, but i don't think you do.
I'd go out of my way just to make sure you were okay no matter what.
People talk and talk about what you are up to now and who you are with
without me asking,
part of me wants to know the truth but the other part doesn't.
because if you are with that one person who I was scared to lose you to,
It would honestly kill me inside.
I'm scared to see you because i don't know if it would just be a fresh start for us
or if we would just ignore each other like strangers and like we never mattered.
and that would make it hurt so much more.
Or maybe seeing you is exactly what i need.
Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are.
I'm sorry for all the stupid arguments we got into,
and for holding on to something that isn't there anymore
My head tells me I'm a fool and to move on,
My heart is saying dont let go..
I'm hopelessly devoted to you.
And I can't wait for the day that i stop thinking about you,
and see you and feel absolutely nothing.
